Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
