Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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