how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
