I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
vagina is talking i cant
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
