That's when you crack a 10am beer
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
