I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
a search helicopter?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Randomize
