Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
