Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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