Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
