i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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