I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think people are normalizing furries
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
