You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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