so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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