i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
