Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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