look no pants
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
