btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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