WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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