i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
