Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I understand Curling. That high.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want to be your penis for a week.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
