you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
