So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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