this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
