I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
