I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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