I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You are the jesus of drinking
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
