'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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