i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My feet surprised me
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
