Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
