Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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