Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
