You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
