hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
