Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
