I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
