I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
