The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
