the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
