you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
