It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
