your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize