I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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