But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sober January is a disaster.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
