He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
