You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
