You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
