he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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