Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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