so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
