i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
