I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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