Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
