I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
