I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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