I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
