If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
